The Mnzungu Will Take Me!!!

You are probably asking yourself, “What the heck is an Mnzungu?”  Well, I am.  A Mnzungu is a white man or pail skinned foreigner.  Chinese, East Indian, Arab, and even Native Americans would be considered Mnzungus.

"Why will he take me away?"

Every culture has an object or persona used to scare children into morality and obedience to their parents and elders.  Santa Clause, for example, is a very North American persona used to encourage children to exercise model behaviour and to "be good".  He gives presents for favourable behaviour and coal as punishment to those who have been naughty and not nice.  In Malawi, I am that object used to encourage obedience.

Malawian children are taught from a young age, “If you are bad the Mnzungu will come and take you away!”  So children, out of fear, listen to mom and dad.  Now, just like believing in Santa, most kids outgrow this belief quickly or never fully buy into the concept, however, there is always an exception.

Most children cheer and chase you with smiles and affections, happy to see you, but some…well, specifically a certain little one I can think of, really thinks I’m going to take her away.

There is a family that comes to the COBT therapy center in Area 25b where we work.  The little girl of the family runs for her life every time she sees me!  Behind a door she goes, then it slams, then the crying and wailing start.  It's very cute and a little funny - but also sad - that my very presence traumatizes her so much.  She is a little one - four or five years old.  Her mom has tried many times to get her not to be scared of me, but each attempt at proper introductions has ended in tears.  Then her mom, grandmum and everyone else present laugh hysterically.  I do not think I can do the image justice of how truly funny it all is.

I guess you would have to be here.

Lilongwe from Home

What is this? A sink for Ants!?!

Ant season is upon us.  What is ant season you say?  I don’t know, to be honest, but it does entail large highways of the critters roaming to and fro in my bathroom.  No matter how many of them you bug bomb, they always come back!  Cockroaches are easier to deal with.  One quick “WHAPOW!!!!!” with a flip-flop and there are legs and guts everywhere.

What is great about the ant invasion though is this: You never have to clean up a squished spider or roach…in a few hours the corpse is completely decimated and nothing is left!  So, between the dogs and the ants there really is no reason to wash dishes anymore.  "Someone" will clear that plate for me.  ;)

#CanadianSarcasm

Lilongwe from Home

Yohani is my Name

Yohani means ‘John’.  My name isn’t John, but for every English word there should be a Chechewa equivalent. However, I have often been the exception to the rule in my life.  My name, Jason, does not exist in Chechewa - there in by leads to a dilemma. What should we call him?  Answer: Yohani. Why?  I don’t know.  Doesn’t matter to me that it's not my name, but it does matter that I have been given a Malawian name, because to receive such a gift is to be accepted by my African family as a member.  Adopted? - sure. Out of place? – completely.  Still stumbling around trying to make sense of it all? – absolutely.  Regardless, accepted and loved by his friends. There is nothing in the whole world that can compare to true Christian friendship. It is Christ in us, the one constant point of commonality that links us to each other regardless of age, distance, race, language, culture, or any other factor that should lead to distrust, frustration, and a desire to stay away, rather than come together.

It is wonderful to come early in the morning to work and be greeted by 'Yohani, mulibwangi?'

My name is Yohani.  John, the beloved disciple shared the same name. I’m okay with that. 

Coke for Days!

How much do you pay for a Coke in your country?  In Canada, before taxes for a single can of Coke it's about $1.25 - $1.50.

In summer heat nothing is quite like a refreshing ice cold glass of Coke. This is especially true when it's been chilled to the point of forming small ice crystals in the bottle.  Ah…now I’m thirsty!!!  Anyway...I know for myself without the Dollar Drink Days special at McDonalds, I would not be able to afford to enjoy such refreshment and relief from the summer heat (in Vancouver, that is.)

In Malawi, a single Coke will cost you 130 – 150 Malawian Kwacha (MK).  Now that may sound like a lot…but really it's not. That’s 32.5 - 37.5 cents per ice cold Coke.  That’s 4.6 Cokes here for the price of one in Canada!

Why am I telling you this?  Well, good question.  I’m seriously addicted to Coke in this heat here in Lilongwe.  Some days it's fine - other days I choose not to count the number of Cokes or Fantas consumed in a day. You have my permission to judge me and have a Skype intervention meeting with me.

For everyone not from Canada reading this…we Canadians are very sarcastic with our humor.  So please take this with a grain of salt.

Lilongwe from Home

Hyenas Next Door

Yes, you read correctly.  We had a hyena by our house a couple of weeks ago.  In Vancouver, we get coyotes, but here we get rabid stray dogs and hyenas.  I wish I could say I saw it though.  They are apparently very shy and act primarily as scavengers.  They work in small packs, but do separate to scope out opportunities for food.  I believe it was one of them on ‘food reconnaissance’ that I heard outside our wall.

Most people can think of that very distinctive cackle hyenas are known for, however, they have another call just as distinctive that was totally new to me. “Whou-p! Wh-ou-p!”  A shout call just like that.  This is how they call to each other from afar.  When I heard this at 2am I was ecstatic!  I love nature and animals and creation.  It's sweet!  It's crazy to wake up in Africa each morning to see and hear animals that previously could only be seen on the TV.  I kinda love that a baboon likes to hang out at where I go for a haircut.  In Canada, it would be a raccoon instead of a primate, which I’m sure would be just as exciting to someone who has never seen one.

Lilongwe from Home